King Arthur was captured and the opposing King, who truly respected his foe, gave Arthur the chance to earn his release by answering the age-old question, “What do women really want?” After polling everyone, an ugly hag gives him the answer after he promises to marry her to Gawain, the most noble of Arthur’s knights. The answer that saves Arthur's life is that women want to be able to be in charge of their own lives.
Gawain marries the hag, and finds her to be a beautiful woman at night. She gives him the option of having her ugly during the day and beautiful at night, or beautiful during the day for others to see and ugly at night. He replied, “You must choose for yourself.” With this answer, she becomes beautiful all the time.
However, now that women are in charge of making decisions for their own lives, they are in constant pursuit of contentment; especially the strong women, who always have a feeling that there is something more. Work is never enough, life is never enough, and I am never enough. If I am not the best I can be, whatever that is, who am I? The problem is, “I can’t experience fulfillment if I have to prove myself to myself all the time, and the outside world has to validate each step I take.”
I sent a “one-word survey” to the 100 women from my doctoral research asking them if they could tell me in one word, maximum three, what they felt they were missing in their lives.
The clear winner was “Peace of Mind” with related desires for Inner Peace, Patience, Being in the Moment, Satisfaction, Contentment, Serenity, Grace and Spiritual Connection.
The runner up was Fun with a related desire for Joy and to Feel Carefree (though this might relate more to peace of mind).
Obviously, feeling in charge of our own lives now has new meaning. Who's in charge, you or your brain? Can you stop for a moment and enjoy the truth and texture of your life? We may be in pursuit of having our own lives, can we also be in pursuit of having fulfilled lives? Please share what you are doing to feel some peace of mind and connection. Obviously, many of us could use some ideas.