The physical difference in the brain of a man and a woman
While listening to the conversations around the table at Thanksgiving, I was reminded that there is one physical difference in the brain between men and women that affects our conversations. The bridge that connects the right and left frontal lobes is much thicker in women than in the brain of men.
THE RESULT:
Women multitask better than men. Not only can we work on one thing at a time, we can access many different points, stories and examples from the past that relate to any topic that comes up.
Men focus better than women. When we get on a roll, they often have no idea what we are talking about or they either check out or get irritated if we don’t stay on the thinking track they chose.
Evolution gave us this difference because in the old days, women had to stir the pot, listen for predators and watch the children all at once while men went out to hunt, which required patience and focus. However, in our complex world, we need to be able to compensate for this difference as well as exploit it.
TIPS FOR HIGH ACHIEVING WOMEN:
We love to be problem solvers. We know we can accomplish more in less time than anyone else. However, there are times when giving 100% to the task at hand (ultimate focus) is better than doing and/or thinking about ten things at once. Sorry…you can’t fully listen to someone and do your email.
1. Giving a focused effort may mean finding a quiet space, turning off the phones and setting boundaries for when you can’t be interrupted. Or maybe you need to let people know when is the best time they can get your attention.
2. When talking to men, be sure to stay with one topic at a time. Their propensity to focus makes it hard to follow your train of thought if you get off-track. And don’t expect them to stop what they are doing to listen to you. They can’t change the channel that quickly.
Let’s celebrate our differences, or at least laugh at them. We need to count on each other’s strengths for success.
Please share any techniques you use to stay focused by commenting on this post. I’ll collect them and share the list in the future.
And please remember that these are genetic tendencies. There are always exceptions to the rules.
I’ve learned the hard way that I get the best results by organising a talk with a man (be it a business partner or the one who snores next to me) in advance. Example: “I’ll need about 10 minutes of your time this afternoon to go through the problem we’re currently having with business xyz.”
I’ve gotten quite good results with this procedure. However I do have to make sure that I myself stay focused on the topic I told him we’d be dealing with.
My best time to focus is early, early in the morning when it is absolutely quiet and my brain is still “empty”.
Jane Crothers
My wife and I have come up with a system to handle this difference. If I am “focused”, she will gently tell me that she needs me and I will ask her if it is an urgent issue or is she can give me 5-10 minutes to redirect my thinking. Conversely, I have to sometimes be prepared to shift gears quickly and follow the various shifts in focus that can occur in our conversations.
