The difference between what is considered masculine and feminine in the psychological research is changing. The traits of decisiveness and assertiveness used to be attributed to men. I’ve even heard male leaders say that women need to be more decisive and bold in meetings if they want to be seen as leaders.
From my research and my experience with my coaching clients, I find more and more women to be
- Quick thinkers
- Solution finders
- Action-oriented, meaning work always gets done on time or before expected
- Opinionated, and can argue well for what they believe
- Passionate, which also helps them argue for what they believe
- Convincing, they back up their arguments with facts or good reason
Hooray for the emergence of smart, strong, decisive and assertive women.
And as I also discovered with the women I work with, for each strength there is a blindspot. Can you find yours in each of the strengths named above? For example:
- Quick thinkers often judge those who like to contemplate to be incompetent.
- Solution finders take on all the work, not allowing other people to learn.
- Too much action depletes time for reflection.
- Strongly-held opinions block out new possibilities (if you already know the answer then there is nothing new to see).
- Passion can be overwhelming, pushing people away instead of engaging them.
Celebrate the strengths you have developed!
Then be conscious of your affect on the people around you. Listening more and practicing patience can make you even stronger when you go to battle.
Finally, give yourself the gift of silence and reflection at least once a month. Time goes by so quickly, you want to make the best of it.
When we get to know ourselves, both the light and the dark sides, we can make better choices in the moment.
Do you have a story to share? Please post it at here so we can learn together.