Wander Woman

I would have thought that High-Achievers looked at life as an abundant well of opportunity. After reading Lloyd Thomas' article on Scarcity, I have a different perspective. Kahil Gibran writes: "to be thirsty when your well is full is a thirst which is unquenchable." A scarcity mentality is when, no matter how much you have, it is never enough. You remain continuously unsatisfied. High achievers feel this way when they have a gut sense that there is always something more to achieve. Therefore, you might have a belief that your accomplishments, or the recognition for what you can achieve, will never be enough. The upside is that you are driven to accomplish great things; the downside is that you limit your celebration of what you have created so far in your life. If it's not good enough, it's not time to celebrate. When you come from scarcity, you tend to limit your consumption. This includes drinking in the beauty of your life. On the darker side, you may feel resentment about others who have what you lack (grander achievements). This further serves to effectively exclude you from feeling proud of what you have accomplished so far. To reverse the psychologically damaging effects of a scarcity belief, you must engage in paradoxical behavior. In other words, whatever you need, give it away. Give someone else recognition for something you could have done yourself. Help other people today even though they could outshine you tomorrow. Create celebrations of achievement for others so that you may reflect on your own path. Help others feel acceptance, significance, joyful and proud. What grander accomplishment can you create? Does this sound strange? As Lloyd says, "If you don't understand any of today's column, simply explain it to somebody else." It's time to stop and appreciate what wonders you have created to date in this life. There are many more things you can and will do. And, you truly have time to take a moment to sit back and admire who you have become.

Change is only difficult when you can't let go of the past. Judith Valente, who suddenly lost her job as a foreign correspondent for the Wall Street Journal but now happily writes poetry and leads spiritual retreats for busy professionals, says the breakthrough in her thinking occurred when she realized life is a continuum. Valente says that if you “lean into the mystery of life” you are less likely to

I don't know about you, but when I'm stressed you better not call me and try to sell me something or guilt me into giving my money to some cause I don't care about. Stress makes me a head biter. I often read about the effects of stress on my body...it makes me fat, my neck hurts and I catch every cold that someone coughs my way. What we sometimes miss is

I am in the process of moving my home. Again. I do this every three to five years. My girlfriend asked me when I was going to stop moving, as if I were filling in for some inadequacy. I don't know why I like to move, but I do seem to have to shake up my life every three to five years with a house, a new direction for my work, or

When people you know see you, their brains react to the file they keep in their memory of who you are. Unfortunately, the negative words often direct people's reactions to you before the positive ones. "There's Jane," says the brain. "She's a smart, passionate driver who never lets up. Quick...hide behind the copy machine." Do you know how people see you? Try this exercise by Lesley Everett, a personal branding

The U.S. Department of Labor reports only one in five women take a vacation once every six years. I’m betting that if you are reading this blog, you are in that 20% group. This doesn’t mean you took a few days off to get things done at home, attend a friend’s wedding, or entertain the kids. This means taking a bona fide, self-centered, body and mind relaxing week off. In