Planning Your Year? Study Your Regrets
January seems to stir our souls by encouraging us to ask questions, voice disappointments and hope for psychic predictions. My clients seem more restless than during the rest of the year. Conversations swirl around “what is possible” and “where should I focus my energy”.
There are many exercises available on how to 1) vision possible futures, 2) identify strengths and passion, and 3) determine what to do first on your journey. I have blogged on these topics and Google can suggest many sites with techniques you can try.
An off-beat idea is to study your regrets. We tend to want to forget our regrets. I’ve read lots of quotes telling me not to have regrets (which is humanly impossible) or that regrets are just lessons (maybe, but they are still regrets).
The more you experience life, the more you look back on decisions you made with the sense that if you only knew then what you know now, you would have chosen differently. There is great wisdom in hindsight.
Yet hindsight can give you great foresight if you study your regrets.
What are you sorry for that you did or did not do? The answer to this question can give you great insight on what could be missing in your life.
Of course, there is no purpose in beating yourself up, again, for the decisions you made in the past. You had a reason you believed in. What you can do is use the loss you still feel to help you focus on what you want to create this year and beyond.
Consider these questions:
- What do I miss or wish I would have done? Can I factor these losses into my plans for this year?
- Do I still feel guilty for not doing something I think I should have? Is there a way I can complete this situation this year so I can move on whole-heartedly?
- What is still stopping me now from doing what I really want to do or getting what I want? What can I do to remove these obstacles?
- Have I set the right standards for my own success? Maybe I’m not celebrating what I have today regardless of what I thought it should look like. And if I want more for myself, can I clearly paint that picture looking forward instead of backwards?
If you call up and clearly identify what you regret, you can use this information to help you focus on the future. Your regrets can help you make major life decisions.
What insights do your regrets give you?
Marcia, I absolutely love this exercise…looking back that moves you forward. It makes all kinds of space to deal with and let go of those regrets through addressing them in a very profound way. Bravo! And New Year’s blessings to you.
Most of my regrets happened when I’d already decided on a direction but, out of fear that I wouldn’t be offered an opportunity in the future, I veered in a totally different “suggested” direction. So my regret is more of a behavior. It’s the second guessing myself believing someone else has a better plan/idea. That’s how I got here. Instead of blaming others for suggesting with their own agendas in mind, in the future, I have to be more clear about my own agenda. Great post!
Wonderful post. I do not have regrets, but I am new to coaching, so hopefully this new career will not create some for me. So much to learn
Thank you
