Wander Woman

A client recently asked me how to she can enjoy waking up and going to work when she knows that as soon as she can, she is going to move on to something new. One of the most difficult parts of making a career move is to avoid feeling like a lame duck at work once you have made the decision to leave. Although planning a new move is inspirational, the

The Book--The Compromise Trap: How to Thrive at Work Without Selling Your Soul Why Read It? Compromises are part of our everyday work lives, but what happens when we start compromising personal values and beliefs? Author Elizabeth Doty interviewed employees at all levels to learn more about the consequences people face when they enter into devil's bargains and find themselves trapped in situations they are unwilling to stay in but are

I am amazed how whatever I need shows up on the Internet in the form of a quote, blog post, or tweet from a friend. I lost my cat last week. On the day my heart hurt the most, a blog from a friend carried this quote: "Every great loss demands that we choose life again. We need to grieve in order to do this." Rachel Naomi Remen,

I heard a great story on NPR’s Talk of the Nation about the storytelling skill of Ernest Hemingway. When asked if he could write a story in six words, he came back to his challenger the next day with these lines, “For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.” Although the story you see when you reflect on his words may be different than the one I see, the images that come to

When was the last time you were so happy with yourself or your work that you walked around with a smile all day? I found in my research that high-achieving women tend to enjoy their victories, but only for a moment. They may dance a jig, call their friends or even fall to the ground full of gratitude and bliss. They celebrate well, but it doesn’t last. All too soon, they

Thanks to reader Maggie Voelker for sharing this link to an interview with Kattie Kay, co-author of the book Womenomics, on why women are faring better for jobs during the recession. http://tiny.cc/rCNLN Unfortunately, the interview emphasized that women get less pay and are more flexible. They touched only briefly on the importance of having a balance of men and women in the workplace. Recent studies in the United States, Great Britain

I have found that it is not the magnitude of your purpose that will calm your soul. It is the value you believe you are giving at any given moment and the recognition that what you offer is “enough.” I had left a workshop early to make sure I got through the Friday afternoon security line at the Washington Reagan National airport in time to catch my flight home. I had

Here's a powerful way to help people accept change: Let them whine and complain. Encourage the steam to be released in an organized setting. Help people identify what they think they are losing so they can move through it instead of suppress it. One of the best experiences I had working with organizational change was in my first job at a psychiatric hospital. Whenever a change was decreed, the managers brought

On my last job, I was was angry with my boss for not acknowledging my good work. He instead nitpicked on a single detail. We argued about the item until I realized I didn't really care about that detail. I said, "I'll check my data again and make the change if you're right. But tell me, do you have any remarks about the work in general?" He said, "You always do

I would have thought that High-Achievers looked at life as an abundant well of opportunity. After reading Lloyd Thomas' article on Scarcity, I have a different perspective. Kahil Gibran writes: "to be thirsty when your well is full is a thirst which is unquenchable." A scarcity mentality is when, no matter how much you have, it is never enough. You remain continuously unsatisfied. High achievers feel this way when they have a gut sense that there is always something more to achieve. Therefore, you might have a belief that your accomplishments, or the recognition for what you can achieve, will never be enough. The upside is that you are driven to accomplish great things; the downside is that you limit your celebration of what you have created so far in your life. If it's not good enough, it's not time to celebrate. When you come from scarcity, you tend to limit your consumption. This includes drinking in the beauty of your life. On the darker side, you may feel resentment about others who have what you lack (grander achievements). This further serves to effectively exclude you from feeling proud of what you have accomplished so far. To reverse the psychologically damaging effects of a scarcity belief, you must engage in paradoxical behavior. In other words, whatever you need, give it away. Give someone else recognition for something you could have done yourself. Help other people today even though they could outshine you tomorrow. Create celebrations of achievement for others so that you may reflect on your own path. Help others feel acceptance, significance, joyful and proud. What grander accomplishment can you create? Does this sound strange? As Lloyd says, "If you don't understand any of today's column, simply explain it to somebody else." It's time to stop and appreciate what wonders you have created to date in this life. There are many more things you can and will do. And, you truly have time to take a moment to sit back and admire who you have become.