Lately, the topic of conversation has been discussing how bad the economy is going to get and debating when the sky will surely fall. So why do we worry so much more than spend time being grateful for what we have? It’s primal, and men worry differently than women.
THE TENDENCIES: In my last post, I told you that women use both sides of their brains more than men when they think. Therefore, they brood more about what will happen in the future to themselves and everything they care about, stirring up lots of emotions especially fear and anxiety. What’s worse, high-achieving women are often so driven to be heroes, they worry about the big picture as well as the details.
Men are more obsessed on fixing things, concentrating on “What should I do?.” They keep themselves up at night thinking about what they did wrong and what they will do to fix things. The next day, they will hit you with all the short-term solutions they decided on when they couldn’t sleep, driving women into a frenzy because of the long-term messes they will have to clean up.
The reason why worrying is often pinned on women is that they tend to verbalize it more. They feel better when they talk about their worries with others. Men tend to keep quiet about their concerns and focus on the problems, which leads to projecting their anxieties onto others, becoming angry or irritated with them instead of admitting to the things they are worried about.
What to do? Women, keep on voicing your worries. Completely express them to someone, then find a way to move on.
#1: IDENTIFY EXACTLY WHAT YOUR BRAIN IS SAYING TO YOU. Thank your brain for protecting you, then ask it what it believes is at stake, really. What can harm you? Is it true? What are the consequences of trying, really? If I make the phone call, have the conversation, change my job, or just back off and let thing be, what is the worse that can happen? How likely is that to happen, really? How does that weigh with the good possibilities? With awareness and practice, you can distinguish what is a real threat from when your brain is being overprotective.
#2: FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR BEING HUMAN. Everyone worries, in their own way. Relax. Find gentler ways to talk to yourself. Trust that things always work out, because they do.