I saw Eat Pray Love with a girlfriend who loved the book and had to see it on opening day. I didn’t read the book. I wanted to see what the brouhaha was all about (I love that word, brouhaha).
I liked the movie. I felt the lead character represented the most common reason I found in my research why women wander: they don’t know who they are and what they want.
The problem is that they spend many years leaving what they don’t want anymore (physically or mentally) without having a clear picture of what they do want.
Even if they had a clear idea of what they wanted for their lives, at some point, they forget. Here’s a story of a woman I coached who felt overwhelmed at work. What we discovered was that she didn’t have a problem prioritizing; she had a problem feeling inspired by her work because she didn’t know why she was there.
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As in the case with my client, sometimes reviving an old dream can give you back your North Star .
Sometimes you have to crystallize the picture of your new dream—what would a perfect day at work or in your relationship look like?
Sometimes the picture isn’t ready to come forth, but you can discover what gives you a sense of purpose in your life and do what it takes to have this experience more often. Look at your day and determine what you are doing only because you should. Then look at what you are doing because you want to do it.
Once you begin to understand what you want to create for yourself, ask yourself:
- What can I start doing today to ease my transition?
- What about my new life can I begin to integrate into my current work and life?
- Who can I ask to support me in making my transition?
- What do I need to do to stay committed to my choices?
Although the notion of taking a year off and living in Italy, India and Bali to discover myself sounds delightful, I learned what I’m sharing with you sitting at my desk and sometimes wandering into the mountains at the end of my road. I hope this helps you figure out the road you want to be on before you take too many unfulfilling detours.