I might have considered putting Controller on the list but there are elements of control in the Queen, Commander and Superstar archetypes combined with some positive behaviors. Yet being a Control Freak can yield good results in some circumstances, right?

I know that in order to climb the corporate ladder as quickly as I did in my younger years, I had to take charge of things from time to time and make sure work was done correctly. The same goes for my own business. I better like being in control if I want to be successful as a solopreneur.

As with most strengths, there is a dark side of abundance. The same goes for being a Controller. When other people should be included in a project or decision, if their ideas are silenced or shot down, they lose motivation and often feel resentful. Eventually they think, “Why bother, you are going to do what you want anyway.” Resistance falls away and we Controllers go happily on our way thinking we are doing the right thing.

The problem is that we often don’t know we are being overly controlling. We justify our behavior thinking we are being efficient, time-sensitive or just plain right. This can yield great results yet hurt relationships.

And what happens if you get sick or called away to do something else? No one else can do your work well because you maintained such a tight control over what gets done and what decisions are made.

I am considering adding Controller to the archetype list. Would you have to circle this word if I asked you to identify your dominant behavioral patterns? How would you know this is you?

Please share the signs you have come to realize that signify you are in Control Freak mode. This will help us all make better decisions about who we should include in the moment.

If you feel you suffer from chronic Control Freak behavior, you might want to check out the book, The Control Freak Revolution by Cheryl Cran. Let me know what you learn.

A number of people questioned the justification for defining a female-specific model. As Mike Henry Sr. asked, “Wouldn’t any leader regardless of gender be perceived to be a good leader if they had the same qualities?” These people said the model should portray a balance, as Katie Snapp said, ” … focusing on the female traits of compassion, inspiration, empathy and collaboration combined with more-masculine traits of bottom-line thinking, focus, directness and healthy competition.”

Offering another perspective, Dr. Christine McDougall says there is something good about accepting different models of leadership for men and women. She says, “We are not the same by nature, nor should we aspire to be.” McDougall believes that if men and women can stand side-by-side as co-leaders, honoring each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities with “…no shame, blame or righteousness” we will model great leadership.

Honestly, after years of NOT wanting to be recognized for my gender while working in male-dominated corporations, I have come to appreciate my feminine qualities and recognize the strength they bring to my work. I like that we honor our brilliant differences!

Therefore, even though I had many responses claiming a “one-size-fits-all” model of leadership should be set out for men and women, I still think it is good to identify the qualities that women can aspire to be as leaders building on the innate strengths they bring to the table.

Naomi Caietti shared this quote from the Corporate Gender Gap Report 2010 based on a survey of 600 of the heads of Human Resources at the world’s largest employers, “… the idea that most corporations have become gender-balanced or women-friendly is still a myth.” They cite the lack of female role models as one of the top three barriers to women’s rise to positions of senior leadership.

The question remains: Is a role model a position, a person or a way of being?

There were some women mentioned as role models, including Carol Tome, the CFO of Home Depot; Sandra Bullock for her graceful handling of her recent life chaos; and a chorus of incredible sisters, daughters, mothers and business partners. The entries were a great testament to the women who take charge with strength and grace. Thanks to Debbie Brown, Joyce Lansky, Lee Wennerberg and Susan Steinbrecher for their heartfelt contributions.

The winning entries, according to me, were from Frances Flynn Thorsen and Caroline Ryan. You can either read their original submissions here (scroll down to the comments) or read the synopsis in the Huffington Post article (scroll down to the shaded area). Both of these women profiled a real woman in a leadership role, identifying the behaviors she demonstrates and recognizing the mindset she has that makes her so remarkable.

Do we need to honor our models of female leadership or seek one model for all? I believe we can do both, but never forget what wonderful qualities men and women have to offer as we stand as different genders, side-by-side.

Marcia Reynolds is an executive coach and teaches leadership around the world. Check out the thoughtful reviews for her latest book, Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction.

Unfortunately, the interview emphasized that women get less pay and are more flexible. They touched only briefly on the importance of having a balance of men and women in the workplace.

Recent studies in the United States, Great Britain and France show that companies with women comprising at least one-third of their leadership team make more money. In these countries, the more women on a company’s senior management team, the less its share price fell in 2008 during the economic downturn.

In another study that spanned the last 19 years, Pepperdine University found that the Fortune 500 companies with the best record of promoting women outperformed their competitors by anywhere from 41 to 116 percent.

A report released by Ernst & Young in the World Economic Forum in 2009, Groundbreakers: Using the strength of women to rebuild the global economy, shared research that demonstrated the need to capitalize on the contributions women make as leaders, entrepreneurs and employees when moving the world’s businesses and economies forward.

If you look at the talent pool, women represent 60% of university graduates in Europe and North America (70% in the United Arab Emirates).

I don’t think this should be an Us vs. Them conversation. I think it should be a We conversation. As we move out of the recession, how can companies develop a gender-balanced workforce at all levels? How can we move away from this conversation as a diversity issue into development and retention issue of top talent, regardless of gender?

This blog generally focuses on helping high-achieving women find contentment and direction. I also think it’s important for businesses to know how to retain and promote all their high-achievers, but especially the women since the numbers at the top levels are still embarrassingly low even though they can drastically improve profitability. I would love to quit talking about gender diversity, but until the workplace is balanced, we have to keep having the conversation. Please help me get the word out.

One of the best experiences I had working with organizational change was in my first job at a psychiatric hospital. Whenever a change was decreed, the managers brought their departments together for a formal “bitch session.” Everyone was allowed, even encouraged, to talk about their anger and their fear. Their concerns were noted. Managers had a chance to explain the decisions more fully, and they were able to acknowledge any oversights that might have been made when the decisions were made. Sometimes these concerns did affect the ultimate actions. Often, the changes continued as planned. But the employees felt heard and acknowledged regardless, allowing them to more quickly adjust and move into the change.

Complaining is a sign that a person is feeling a loss. It is better to help them recognize the loss, and then coach them to accept it or regain it in another way than to try to shut them down. Help them to see what they really want to ask for or to create for themselves in their life to deal with what they feel they are losing. The complaining will decrease. Compassion is the quickest route to action.

Excerpt from article posted by American Chronicle.

When it comes to business, it’s the companies that “spend their way out of the recession” who become the champions. Now is the time to innovate. Kellogg became the industry leader by doubling its ad budget during the Great Depression. Apple introduced the iPod in 2001, six weeks after September 11th. Whether you work for someone or yourself, if you show courage and imagination, you can help your company emerge on top.

Most importantly, this requires you monitor your mood and shift to hope and possibility as often as you can. Recently, a study was done where 360 degree feedback assessments were given out to over 11,000 leaders. The number one most common failure of leader: the lack of energy and enthusiasm. The leader sets the emotional tone.

Are you aware of how you are showing up?

3 Signs of Stress to Watch Out For

The recession has taken an emotional toll on all of us. Watch out for these signs of stress:
1. Working too hard. When times are tough, we tend to double our efforts. Putting in 10-hour days will not save your company from the recession — it will tire you out and render you ineffective.
2. Loss of self. Stress can cause us to withdraw or do things out of character. If you’re losing your personality or skipping things that used to be important to you, step back and evaluate your stress level.
3. Delusions of grandeur. We all like to think we’re important. However, it is unlikely that your job directly affects the fate of your entire company. Keep your role in perspective — taking a break won’t break the company.

You can read more about the sources of stress and how to manage them at www.outofstress.com

I’ll share pieces of the pages with you as I go along. I know I’ll use some of these posts. Please comment whenever you feel the urge when share thoughts with you; I could use your insights.

Thank you for your support.

I cared enough to teach them. I cared enough to look them in the eyes when I talked. I cared enough to let them speak, complain, explore and discover even when it wasn’t on the agenda. I cared enough to help them when they asked for it during breaks and after.

I am a well-trained storyteller. I coach and facilitate when I teach. Yet my class knows that I am there to improve their lives not just give them skills. I care about who they are as humans.

The result is a connection far bigger than the content alone could ever provide.

Whether you are teaching, managing, presenting, mentoring or leading a team, if you have respect but you don’t sincerely care, you are no better than the glib but disconnected professor you had in school.

When it comes to human relations, it’s never all about you. It’s about them. The person who cares the most about others, wins.

Recently, a very frustrated client complained, “I tried my hardest to help my team. They just don’t get it. I only want them to succeed.”

I know her pain very well as a painful lesson I had to learn. It wasn’t until I fully experienced the power of true coaching that I understood the distinction between serving and fixing those we live and work with.

As a high achiever, we often blur being a leader with being a helper. When you view what you are doing as “helping” someone to do things correctly, you are functioning from a position of greater power. You are stronger than the person you are helping who has lesser strength.

Others sense this unequal relationship. If they came to you as unequal, that you are the great one with knowledge, they will eagerly hear. If not, they won’t hear you. Their resentment speaks louder than your words. They may even retaliate by doing something stupid or nothing at all. Then you judge them even more harshly. Ouch. Have you ever complained about having to parent another adult? Maybe you are trying too hard to fix them.

By contrast, “service is a relationship between equals.” It is mutual. Serving is responding to a problem and collaborating to find the solution. You honor the wisdom of experience within the person you are serving and seek to open their eyes to the possibilities that are forming in their minds. In that service, you benefit as well. In the connection we have with those whom we serve both personal and spiritual growth occurs.

Serving definitely feels different from fixing. For one, you’ll be less impatient. You will also know more love and compassion in the process, even when your modus operandi is to close your heart at work. Quit fixing and start caring, truly believing in the greatness in others, and see how your team performs. This might help your relationships, too (sorry, you can’t fix your mate).

Dr. Rachel Remen, author of Kitchen Table Wisdom, writes, “Service rests on the basic premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose. When you help you see life as weak, when you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life whole.”

May we each seek to serve instead of fix when we see a problem. In doing so we can experience life not just as our great accomplishment, but as a beautiful, complex, sometimes difficult and always amazing ride.

It is just that I have something I need to say and would regret staying silent on the subject. As a woman who has worked for or with corporations for nearly 30 years, I have witnessed young, inexperienced, good looking women promoted over more intelligent, powerful, high-achieving women. The promoters felt they were justified because they had the courage to promote a woman even if she was not the most qualified.

Promoting weaker women in the name of equality and change…or that they would appeal to the public more (this recently happened to a girlfriend of mine and the younger, better looking woman made it so difficult for my older, more experienced friend that she had to quit to stay sane). …how stupid do these people think we are?

I have been appalled by this practice for years. Add insult to this injury this week with John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin for his running mate. If he wanted a women, were there not more experienced female republican’s available? I could understand if he chose Palin to appeal to the social conservative’s that are questioning his allegiance, but to have the gall to say that former supporters of Hillary Clinton now had someone to vote for made my stomach churn.

1. A woman who declares that she is just a hockey mom, and not long ago, that is all she was, insults the political acumen of all women. Yes, being a mom builds character and teaches a person many things, but not foreign diplomacy or congressional maneuvering. Please tell me how Sarah Palin is any match for Hillary Clinton?

1. I, as a woman who treasures freedom, equal rights and a sense of social responsibility, am amazed that anyone would think that if I supported Hillary, I would vote for a woman who is against personal choice and the right to marry who I choose, who backs the U.S. in Iraq and thinks healthy competition can fix our health care woes. I aligned with Hillary for her values and commitment. Sarah Palin runs in direct opposition to what I hold most dear.
2. Which leads me to the core of the insult…how dare anyone think that I would vote for a woman just because she is a woman, especially to hold an executive position in one of the most powerful countries in the world? I would love to see a woman be president of the United States. And it must be the best woman for the position, not just the best looking. (I am not criticizing Palin who may be an amazing woman; I’m critical of the people who obviously think women have one track minds).

Obama was right. John McCain doesn’t have a clue. He has no idea how he sealed my resolve to vote for Obama and to speak out politically, which I generally don’t do.

On a final note…my research showed that today, the reason that many high-achieving women are not holding the highest positions in a company is because they leave out of frustration for not being recognized and included in solving the company’s top problems, figuring they would take their talents elsewhere instead of waiting for a brass ring that would never appear. Obviously, we must still stay vocal and work together to be the change we want to see in the world.