Are you driven by a need or a purpose?
(excerpt from upcoming book for high-achievers) Often the discontent you feel from your work stems from two factors: 1) expecting your job to fulfill your need for meaning, which it may do but you aren’t sure because 2) you confuse your need for recognition with your desire to feel fulfilled. You have to identify and set aside the first factor, your need for recognition, before you can define what gives you meaning.
When people thank you for your contribution, you might think you feel fulfilled when you are just pleased that they noticed how much you know and how hard you worked. Not only will your pleasure be fleeting but you will find out that people are fickle when it comes to saying thanks. You might get a standing ovation from one group for your speech and the next day, a few head nods from a different audience. Therefore, you shouldn’t use applause, praise and smiles to dictate your purpose. You need a consistent theme that serves to focus your energy regardless of other people’s opinions and actions.
Your sense of purpose comes from the joy you feel when you are doing something, not from the amount of gratitude other people feel when you are done. The process of helping someone else make the right career choices, of delivering a workshop, of helping your neighbor, or of teaching a child might feed your sense of fulfillment. The thanks you get for the end result is the icing on the cake that feeds your needs. However, even if you don’t care if people say thank you, it’s often difficult for you to stay centered when you receive a bad evaluation of your work.
Sometimes you will take a poor or lackluster review so personally that you feel betrayed and wish to end the relationship. If you let a less-than stellar evaluation steer you away from your life’s work, it may take years before you rediscover what ignites your passion. When instead, you passionately live with a strong sense of purpose, you can remember what is most important to you even when you are upset. Your purpose becomes your guiding light that keeps you moving forward on your Hero’s Journey.
Louisa May Alcott said, “Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” When you stand strongly in the light of your purpose, approval by others downgrades from a need to a “nice to have.”
Loved this one.
We have so much to learn from other cultures.
Hi, really liked this and found it very helpful along with the piece about people who are driven may be living from a place of scarcity. I had a sense of this, as I am a driven person, so it helped deepen my self understanding.
I feel very wolly in the search for my purpose and continually seek out and sign up for new courses and trainings. I love your clarity. Well done. Thanks Mary
I am 27 already and have easily reached respect and recognition in everything I have worked so far (it is another story whether it has contributed in my career path).
However, although i find it very easy to enter a field and learn a lot about it in a very short time (and that being acknowledged by established professors, consultants, etc.) i still have the feeling of not having found “what I’m looking for”. i feel too scattered.
It is very pressuring lately since I feel that I am stuck in a moment. i work for a company where i cannot hope for career development although i am using lots of opportunities to develop professionally (including PG studies paid by myself). Yet, it feels as I am going everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
Does the book in question help in situations like this? Is it published?
Can you give me some guidelines of how to …discover my passions?
