Yesterday’s post prompted a lively email discussion among a group of young professional women on what “worth” really means. They forwarded the string to me. They concluded that “dating down” was a dumb 50’s concept. “It’s about the person not their checkbook.” Their partners may make less money, but give a whole lot more emotionally. Is there a cultural revolution going on that is redefining healthy relationships?
In my doctoral research, I found this is true with the current generation of high-achieving women. They don’t need men to take care of them. Now, they are looking for a real partner. Someone who will share the responsibilities at home and won’t get his ego tied up in a knot over it. A man who gives her space to go after the success she desires. When she comes home, he is her cheerleader and “knight” who loves having a queen in the house. This man shows emotional depth and strength.
I am in one of these relationships.
After two long-term relationships with degreed, professional men, I am happily partnered with a man where I make more money, have four more degrees, and I travel all over the world while he takes care of the home and cat (he travels with me sometimes). He loves me when I’m jet-lagged, honors my work and dreams, challenges me to be more, plays with me, and buys me flowers. He is my knight. The relationship is wonderful.
So I wonder, are men asked if they date down? The concept is an insult to my partner as well as to myself. It’s time our society redefines what is a solid, loving relationship that supports both men and women.
Do you agree? Please post your thoughts and comments. And check out this blog post that defines what men really want in a relationship.